Are You Crazy?

I mean, do you really want to follow the nitty gritty details of my pregnancy and be privy to every ache, craving, and expanding girth?  I'm sure you can find many other interesting things on the interwebs to follow.  But if you're still here and still interested, I promise to at least add a bit of sarcasm and humor to entertain you.  In fact, there are multiple opportunities for sarcasm and humor during pregnancy, as some of you may know.  Perhaps the most humorous story is how we even got here in the first place....(before I go into further detail, if our kid asks any of you, they were perfectly planned and expected and made our empty lives whole).

As many of you know, I spent much of my internship years as a sex educator in Minneapolis public schools where I taught young people many different ways to avoid an unplanned pregnancy and practice safer sex.  And yes, many MANY people have already pointed out the coincidental nature of this fact.  (No, it's not irony, that's something different)

Around October of this year, I was in the process of being diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance known to cause difficulty reproducing without intensive medical intervention.  This process involved blood tests, exams, and even an ultrasound.  I had come to accept that our chances of conceiving may be low which had one silver lining - we could "pull the goalie" without worrying too much about scoring an unplanned point.

My hours of sex education training clearly failed me, because 4 weeks later we had two positive pregnancy tests on our hands (Ok, 4..it was hard to believe).  I can't tell the story without making a plug for something that I believed contributed to this little surprise.  During the process of diagnosis, I decided to balance my hormones naturally using intensive acupuncture, Chinese herbs, yoga, and eliminating many types of chemicals from my diet.  Though the goal was not to make a baby, I truly believe that these changes made it not only possible to conceive but like a little paradise oasis for a zygote.  I never ended up being diagnosed with any hormonal imbalance...but the diagnosis of pregnant was certainly enough to wrap our minds around.

First trimester I hibernated.  I watched a lot of Hulu.  I survived the flu.  I existed primarily on lime flavored soda water and saltine crackers.  Mentally, I was kind of a crazy person.  I assumed that having a child meant losing everything about me and how I knew myself to be.  Once I came out of that fog, I realized that it didn't have to be so dramatic and was ready to start letting myself get excited.

So here we are, and here you are.  And if you're still reading, it seems we both have an interest in this pregnancy and we will both be involved in the life if this little Beard.  I will do my best to answer every question you have preemptively, except for one...We will not be announcing the gender of the little Beard until the day he/she emerges from the Uterine Hotel.  We have our reasons but mostly its because its fun to have a secret...a secret that I can actually keep, unlike when I found out I was pregnant and couldn't get through a sentence around family without blurting it out.

Welcome to our completely planned and expected journey :)